Thoughts on being a working mom...

Okay, first off - the title does not intend to imply that only moms who work outside the house are working moms. I know that all moms work hard -whether in the house or in the workforce. But I trust that any of my blog readers are not super sensitive to these terms (are there correct PC terms for at-home moms versus "working" moms?) - so I'll just proceed.

I need to update on a few events that have happened over the last few weeks. First, Ben turned nine months (in the womb time = out of the womb time) and we also flew to Oregon for a visit with the Gelberg Grandparents. But for right now, I want to talk about me and work. Maybe a nice break for those of you who have been a bit tired of endless baby news/thoughts? :)

So, first, I have a new job!! I'm really quite excited about this. I'm still with EM, and actually still with my same project - constructing a pipeline network offshore Angola - but have moved to a new role. I'm a BS engineer. :) Actually, my position is a Business Services Engineer - but I had written myself a note to update my performance assessment with "BS job duties" and Mark read it and laughed thinking that I had intended to make-up duties for my assessment. Funny stuff. :)

So I've been with the co. for 3 years now, and this is my first job outside of safety. I'm thrilled. I was actually starting to like the job I was in before (I LOVE my project team) - but with travel limitations (particularly international travel), it would have been hard to continue to be effective in my role. Also, my background/training/interest isn't in the safety field, so while I was enjoying the work, I was actually enjoying more of the organizing/facilitating/teamwork piece of it rather than the content (safety) itself.

So what is my new role? Good question. It's in the business controls group - which includes things like cost, schedule, managing interfaces (with co venturing companies and the Angolan counterpart). This group is actually short two people right now, so it sounds like I'll just sort of be helping out with whatever is most urgent in the next few weeks until those positions get filled.

But I didn't actually sit down to blog about my new job - I wanted to focus on another thought - work related.

I've been really enjoying work over the last few months. Which is sort of a surprise, as I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to return to work after Ben was born, and when it was totally overwhelming at first, I thought a lot about just quitting to stay at home. On top of that, I think I'm enjoying work more than I ever have pre-baby. So I've been thinking a lot lately about why that is. Because it seems common sense would say that I would not enjoy work as much in this stage of my life.

I'm sure a big part of that is being able to get out of the house for a few hours every day. I'm actually pretty focused when I'm there and don't think about home/Ben a lot - which is a nice break. When I get home, I absolutely adore the squeal he lets out when he sees me, and when I pick him up, it's always a bit of a surprise that I actually have this baby - even though I've only been gone a few hours. I do think I appreciate and enjoy him more than I might if I didn't routinely get away. I feel refreshed when I return home.

I also think I enjoy my job more now, because I can't afford to be inefficient when I'm there - so I'm super-focused at work. My last job and my new job are both full-time positions, but management has agreed to assign me to the roles part-time. That does create quite a bit of pressure - but I've really learned to let the little things go, and just focus on what absolutely needs to be done. I think so much of my time used to be spent doing things because I was supposed to do them, but not really feeling like it made much of a difference. Now, almost every minute spent has a result, and at least I think, accomplishes something important. I've read a few articles that claim working mothers are actually better employees, because they are more efficient. That didn't make much sense to me in the past, but I totally believe it now. I feel like I definitely get more done in less time than I used to - and eventually when I return full-time, I hope I'll retain this efficiency. I am also much better at saying "no" (well, maybe not actually saying it, but at least not promising/agreeing to things immediately) and delegating and asking for help. I don't have time anymore to take on everything myself, and I've let go of the guilt of asking for help. If I have any chance of meeting objectives/deadlines, I've got to get support. I'm proud of that, and I think it's actually really built up my confidence. I feel "worthy" of help, since it's not just about whether I want to do it myself, but whether the task will have a chance of getting done.

Finally, I think the other thing that helps with all of this is that we still don't have daycare (although we are really looking hard right now). The time I spend at work is not just time away from Benjamin - it's also extra work for Mark. If I spend an extra hour at work, that's another hour that Mark has to look after Ben. That definitely helps me set boundaries, leave when I say I will leave, etc.

It's interesting, because some of these new found skills at work have carried over into my personal life as well (or maybe it's vice versa)? I've been talking about gardening forever, and I finally signed up for a course! I took a 4-hour herb gardening class about a month ago. I think it's finally starting to sink in that there's just not enough time to always keep all your ducks in a row. The house will always be dirty. There will always be laundry that needs to be done. It's not terribly fulfilling to try and keep the household running smoothly, so occasionally I need to get out and do something fun - even if there's no time for it. Or I need to decide what's more important - getting some exercise or folding the laundry. Of course, that doesn't always happen, and sometimes I'll take those free moments to try to catch up on the cleaning/laundry, etc. instead of doing something that is important or will actually be fulfilling. But I think I'm keeping my OCD in better check than I have in the past.

Okay, so that may have been rambling - and I hope it didn't sound boastful. But I'm really happy with the work-life balance now, and I wanted to at least get some of my thoughts down - particularly because I always read about the struggle for working moms. I realize that I'm incredibly fortunate to be in the situation that I'm in (employer willing to work with me and be flexible, Mark's job being limited daytime hours) and it's unfortunately not possible/practical for many mothers. But at least for one woman in one point of time it's working.

Look for 9-month & vacation pictures/updates in (hopefully) the next few days!