Is it really seven months already? Wow! Things seem to be happening really fast, and really slow at the same time.
In some ways, I wish we had more time - more time to finish preparing for our little girl's arrival. To finish some Projects we have underway. To spend time with just Benjamin, working on things he should begin learning to do - like giving up the Biddy, potty training, and learning to dress himself.
But, I'm also really excited to enter this new stage of life, as a family of four. I'm very curious about this baby, what she will look like, how she will be similar and different than her brother. With Benjamin, I just couldn't fathom what life would be like, what he would look like, etc., so I actually wasn't all that eager for the baby at the end of the pregnancy - I was more just in awe of the present state of my body...and fairly obsessed with what the birth would be like. Now we have a reference point, and I know at least a little about what is to come. And I'm excited and eager to begin this next phase.
I'm also quite eager to be back at home more. Working full time has been tough. I think Ben and Mark have
fared pretty well through it, but I struggle a bit with the arrangement. I feel guilty about getting to work late, and leaving early (which I actually didn't stress when I was part-time, because that was the expectation). And now, particularly as the "main" part (recruiting) of my current role winds down, and I begin the planning work for the arrival of our summer interns, and our new hire orientation program, I find myself lacking motivation at work. Partially because this work is more routine, and less interesting to me, and partially because I won't get to finish the work that I'm now starting --- I'll begin transitioning to my replacement in March. And, Ben is getting to be SO much fun --- full of personality with a definite sense of humor, able to participate in family activities (digging outside during landscaping projects, dumping stuff in bowls while cooking in the kitchen), and has ideas about what he wants to do (who can resist the invitation: "Mommy, do you want to come play in my big boy room?") --- when work is less interesting, it's hard to miss out on these moments at home. Plus, the nesting instinct has definitely kicked in, and I have a great urge to get the house in order. Although, not necessarily the energy to actually
do anything to get it in order.
We don't yet know if two is the magic number for us, though, so I'm also trying to enjoy these last couple of months of pregnancy. Particularly, these will be the last two months where this baby is all
mine. I'm the only one who
really knows anything about her. Who knows the strengths in her kicks. Who feels her hiccups. Who has sole responsibility for her well-being. I remember missing that a little after Ben was born, so I try to savor it a bit more now.
I think that is all I wanted to capture in this post. Ben and Mark are at the grocery store, and will return soon, so I better wrap this up. I'll try to get Mark to take my 7-month profile picture soon and post that. But in the meantime, below is a very cool 4-D picture of our baby girl from our last ultrasound (at 31 weeks). I'd never actually experienced this technology before, but my mom accompanied me to my ultrasound (they just left this morning after a week-long visit to help keep Ben and I healthy and happy while Mark was on tour), and the technician whipped out this new device, and asked if we would like to see the baby's face. Heck, yes!
She wouldn't move her arm from in front of her face, so that's why the right side looks a bit funky. But I think you can make out a lot of detail. The image on the left is the normal sonogram, the image on the right is the 4-D one, showing the contours of her shape. She's smiling in the second picture!
