Workin' Girl

Two blog posts in two days --- I'm on a roll! :)  It's actually 6 AM right now as I write this, but I am wide awake and don't need to leave the house for another 15 minutes, so I thought I would at least get started.  Early morning has become my exercise time, and after two weeks of getting up early to exercise, I think I am adjusting.  I was just finding too many excuses to not exercise during the day, and I'm determined to lose the rest of this baby weight (about another 20 pounds to go, and I've plateaued yet AGAIN), so I've started setting the alarm for early in the morning and then either going to a 5:30 AM Pilates class at the YMCA or taking brisk walks around our neighborhood.  This morning I am meeting a friend at 6:30 AM to walk, but after so many 5 AM wake-ups, I woke up on my own about 20 minutes ago.

But that's not what I wanted to write about this morning.  I want to write about work.  And I also want to write a little update on the kiddos (both doing great!) - but the kid post will probably need to wait until later.

So I'm back at work now, after 7 months of being a SAHM.  I definitely feel like I learned a ton being at home for this time period.  It was really an incredible time, and I was sad to end this period when I returned to work 3 weeks ago.  I got a chance to do things that I had been wanting to do for a while (such as finishing unpacking our boxes from our Hurricane Ike evacuation, organizing our home a little better, managing contractors during the exterior house remodel), but I also gained a lot of confidence in my ability to not only handle staying at home with young children, but in my ability to embrace that role and enjoy it.

Mark and I were married for almost 7 years before Benjamin was born.  When we dated and even when we got married, we were both of the attitude "yeah, we would probably like to have a couple of kids someday."  But neither of us were in a hurry to do that; it was a vague off-in-the-distance idea, and it certainly wasn't a strong topic of conversation, planning or an important part of the reason we wanted to be together.  When we eventually did decide to start trying to have kids, it was still more of an idea in the future --- we didn't want to be sitting on our front porch alone at 70 years old and wish we had had children.  Neither of us were particularly into babies (I was actually a bit afraid of them, and dreaded when people asked me if I wanted to hold their newborns).

So it was a bit of a shock to the system when baby Benjamin arrived.  And, truthfully, after 3 months maternity leave, I was ready to go back to work --- ready to get back at least a little bit to being the "old" me.  The return-to-work arrangement was difficult though.  We did not have child care for Benjamin, so our schedule consisted of taking turns working while the other parent took care of the baby.  A typical day might include Mark going to a morning rehearsal, coming home at lunch, at which point I raced off to the office for a half day, then returned home to have an hour or two with Mark and Ben before he took off for an evening concert.  It was exhausting.  Things would have gotten better when Ben started school at 16 months, but that's when our house flooded, so we had the new stress of living with friends and trying to remodel our house while we were both also working.  Then shortly after we moved back into our house, I switched roles at work, which required longer hours, then we got pregnant with Katie and I returned to work full-time.

We did okay through all these arrangements, but our house always seemed a mess and dis-organized, I felt like I could never get even the simplest goals at home accomplished, we ate a lot of frozen pizza and didn't get much exercise, and I felt like I missed out on some fun times at home with Benjamin.  So with a chance to "re-set" the clock and pace following Katie's birth, I knew I wanted to try something different.

My company is incredible with their maternity policies.  And I've been using them to the full capacity this time around.  No regrets (so far).  I am not only working fewer hours now (supposed to be 8 per week, but I've been doing about 12) than I was when I went back after Benjamin was born, I feel like I am able to contribute to and manage our household much more effectively with all the things I've learned during my leave of absence.  It probably also helps that I learned how to mother a baby from Benjamin, so I'm more relaxed with Katie and am used to getting less sleep. :)

My assignment at work probably couldn't be any better right now, too --- which definitely helps.  I was assigned to a new Project, so the team had only been formed for a couple of months by the time I joined.  In the week following my assignment, additional team members were named.  So I had the advantage of not filling in for someone else who was full-time, and having to manage expectations of what I would and wouldn't do in that role.  My manager just carved out a couple of pieces of the Project scope for me to complete.  So that's what I am doing --- without judgement from the team for the scale of my contribution.

I also work from home --- I don't even have an office on campus.  Which is absolutely fantastic so far.  This also works because the particular Project I am on has team members on a few different campuses, so it's not terribly apparent that I am "missing." I love not having to defend when I come and go.  We have a standing weekly meeting on Monday afternoons (Mark's day off, so I am always able to attend!), and I have gone in just one extra time to meet with my functional (career) supervisor.  Other than that, it's been phone calls and emails, and it's working so far.  I love the flexibility of being able to work when it is convenient for Mark to take care of the kids, not having to dress up (still hardly anything fits) and saving the commute time to the office.  And it's great not having to worry about when to feed Katie - since we never really got regular with giving her bottles.

...okay, that was as far as I got before I had to leave to meet my friend for our walk.  Both kids are now napping, so I'll see if I can finish this post, although I have  lost my train of thought...

So all-in-all, I think my situation for being back at work is as good as it could possibly be.  I am working few hours and I get to do most of my work from home.  The challenge is that, for now, I need to fit these extra hours into what already felt like full and busy days - particularly until Katie starts school (which could be as early as April or as late as September 2011).  Ideally, I would have just preferred to delay my return date until Katie was ready to start school --- but that wasn't an option.  So we're going with the next best thing (8 hours per week).   I originally asked for the reduced schedule just until year end, at which point I was supposed to return to work half time (20-30 hours per week).  The idea of going back half time was really stressing me out, so within the first week of returning, I requested for the full possible term for the reduced schedule - which is 6 months.  Assuming the situation looks like it is working (ie I can make a meaningful contribution to the team), I should get to continue this until May 1, 2011.  That possibility just thrills me.

So why not just quit and stay home, if that's what I want to do?  I never thought that staying home full time would be something that I would want to do.  And if we could continue our current lifestyle, it may be something that I would consider more strongly.  But we saved up money while I was working full-time so that we could continue to enjoy the conveniences two pay checks bring --- someone to clean our house twice per month, lawn mowing service in the summer,  leaf raking in the fall (we have huge trees), as well as the extra luxuries, such as eating out (although, with 2 kids, we don't do that too much anymore anyways) and my current love affair with Starbucks.  And the remodeling / landscaping projects couldn't happen.  And finally, we wouldn't be able to send our children to the Montessori pre-school that we love and later, potentially the private (and expensive) Montessori elementary - high school.  So while we could make it work on one income, it wouldn't be nearly as fun.

But money isn't the only reason I work.  I need to have time away from my children each day, interacting with adults, doing something that isn't solely focused on them.  I truly believe I am a better parent because of it.  After long stretches during school breaks, I find my patience with Benjamin wearing out.  And once Katie is more interactive and requires more undivided attention, I imagine that I will need more of a break from her too.  The right day care / pre-schools offer that, and so when she is old enough (at least according to us) to benefit from some non-parent time with another caring adult, I don't believe I'll have issues with enrolling her for a few hours per day as well.  When that happens, work and home seem to balance out really well.  I can spend some non-hurried time with the children in the morning (since school doesn't start for them until 9 AM), drop them off at school, go to work, then pick them up in the afternoon with enough time to spend a few hours together before the evening unwinding activities begin.  It is a really good rhythm for our family.

So ultimately, my resistance to going back to work is a short-term one.  So it makes sense to muscle through at this point.  And I'm not ready to give up being a career woman.  I have been successful so far at work, and it feels good to get affirmation for doing a job well done.  Particularly because you have to wait quite a few years for the pat-on-the-back for raising your children well.  And I feel like I am most balanced and happiest working part-time.

So our current plan is that I will work 8 hours per week until May 1, 2010 (I like to count down, so see the new ticker above), at which point I will bump up to regular part-time (20-30 hours per week), and at about this time we also hope to start Katie in pre-school.  I can then work part-time for another 1.5 years - which would take us to November 1, 2012.  At that point, Ben will be 5 and Katie will be 2.5.  What will I do then?  I'll likely need to return to work full time or change to a permanent part-time status --- which is not without career ramifications.  But that's a long time off --- even for the OCD planner in me.  So we'll just have to see where life leads us between now and then.

After

Our house exterior remodel is complete (see this post for the before pictures)!  It's actually been complete for over a month now, but finding the time to blog about it was another thing. :)  We are really pleased with the outcome, and actually really like the contractor that we hired.

It was thrilling at first to have work being done on the house, and not actually being the ones to do it.  But then after a couple of weeks, I got a little tired of always having people outside of our windows.  I really like lots of natural daylight in the house, so I refused to close our blinds --- so the workers got to know our daily rhythm well.  I was made more aware of how I spend my day, since I felt like I was always being watched!  I spend a lot of time in the kitchen (particularly because that's also where our washer/dryer are). :)

We didn't get to spend as much time outside doing our own work as I had originally anticipated, as our yard was filled with tools, debris and people working.  It didn't feel safe to let Ben run around until most of the clean-up was done, so we actually felt a little stuck inside throughout the process.  And Ben has a thing lately for loud noises, so he was really concerned about going outside when they were sawing.

But we're not yet done!  We've received two bids on drainage / sprinklers (Steve, I think we're taking your advice and going the way of hiring this job out), and landscapers scheduled to give bids after Thanksgiving.  And Mark and Ben are still diligently working away in the garage.  More to come!