A New Start

For the last few years, right around this time, I begin yearning for a fresh start.  The summer seems to drag on, and I'm ready for a change of pace.  Ready to have a break from the intense, relentless Houston sun.  Ready to stop applying sunscreen and bug spray every time we go outside.  Ready for a steady routine - for Ben to go back to school (!) and to get back into the rhythm of every day life. 
This year, I am ready for a few other fresh starts as well. 

I'm ready to get our family into a better schedule.  To once again have a little quiet time in the evening.  Ben's bed time has been creeping later and later, and we still haven't gotten into our groove with little Katie.  We were in Oregon last week visiting my parents for our "summer vacation," and she was such a little trooper!  She was really easy-going, slept incredibly well, and Mark and I dared to think "has she rounded the corner, is she going to get easier?".  But then Ben came down with a nasty cold, and now all four of us have it.  Which means we have a household full of sick, tired and cranky people---no one excluded.  I desperately hope it will feel better when we have a little more structure and regularity - because it feels like it has been a very long time --- five months, in fact, since we've been in a groove.  And I'm desperate to regain control of our household.

I'm ready to re-establish some boundaries and expectations for our vivacious three year old.  I'm beginning to feel that he has way too much control of our day.  Again, he's been sick for over a week, which results in incredible whiny-ness (as I write this, he's actually standing right next to me whining), so I'm trying to cut him some slack.  But I also feel like I've been making excuses for him for a while now.  He had the adjustment to having a baby sister, he moved up to the next class at school, he gave up his Biddy.  I guess I'm starting to learn that he is going to always have adjustments (don't we all?), and that I need to be more deliberate and consistent in my expectations for him.  So wish me luck with that one.  I don't know exactly what this will look like, or what it means exactly, but I'm determined to be more deliberate about it.  And Benjamin, I'm learning this parenting thing as we go, Bud, so I know there will be some significant screw-ups along the way.  Sorry about that in advance.

And finally, I'm ready to regain control of my own body.  It has definitely not bounced back after Katie's birth the way it did after Benjamin's.  I feel heavy and out-of-shape and tired.  Both Mark and I were actually getting into a good groove with exercising more and eating healthier dinners.  But it hasn't been enough.  It has been an adjustment for me to come to terms with the fact that I may no longer be able to get away with eating whatever I want and still staying slim.  It makes me feel old.  It makes me feel like I am entering the next "stage" of our lives --- no longer the young and "new" to everything.  And that's kind of scary.

So a couple of days ago, I joined Weight Watchers Online.  And then yesterday I tracked my "points" for the first time.  Since I am nursing full-time (and Katie's not yet eating solids), I actually get quite a few points.  But I still went about 50% over my points yesterday, and that was even with what I thought was being relatively careful.  Yikes.  I guess that's why I'm not losing all that baby weight.  While nursing, I am only supposed to lose 1 pound a week...so I should be back to my pre-pregnancy weight in about six months. :)

And finally, I want to be better about writing in this blog.  I want to document our lives at this point --- which, as challenging as it can sometimes be, is also so precious, and I know that I'm really going to miss these days with young children once they grow up.

So wish me luck with all these goals in our "fresh start" this fall!

And since I have been so bad about posting pictures, here is a favorite from our trip to Oregon last week.  We took a trek to the beach --- but Benjamin was already a bit sick, it was SUPER windy and also fairly cold (also, his jacket is way too small and the wind was blowing sand into his eyes, that's why he's wearing my sunglasses).  Not the most picture-perfect day, but I'm glad we did it, and it makes for a fairly humorous memory.