Reflections on 2

Hi friends! This is Mark writing. On June 8th, we celebrated Benjamin’s second birthday. Wow, what an amazing two years. My first thought is how remarkably different the second year was from the first. Ben’s first year seemed like an eternity to me. Yes, there was some of the “it seems like just yesterday he was in the newborn diapers.” But for the most part that first year was long and challenging. This second year has been marked by milestones I have found more meaningful, and changes have come quickly. Now it really does seem like just yesterday that he was in newborn diapers. Here’s my chapter breakdown of his second year. (I realize many reading this blog will find this to be old hat as they’ve already been through this. We write these entries for the safekeeping of our own memories as well as for sharing with others. Maybe even you oldtimers will enjoy a different family’s experience.)

13-16 months. Walking! Ben actually took his first steps on his first birthday. They were small steps, but it was off to the races from then on. His crawl was awkward – we called it the cripple crawl – so I think he was happy to become a biped. I remember fondly going to Hermann Park, which is a very large park in Houston, soon after he learned to walk. We’d gone to feed the ducks, which we did for a while, but then spent an hour just walking around the outdoor amphitheatre. He enjoyed walking up and down the inclines in the seating area, holding on to the seats at times, and carefully navigating a few steps. It was a wonderful sight. They say you get a big wake up call when you have a baby, which I did. But I also had another one that August. The orchestra takes a break for a few weeks in August, and I had a healthy sized list of things I’d hoped to get accomplished during the break. You’d think I would have learned by then, but you just aren’t able to get as much done with a child than before. Those were a frustrating few weeks, but now that expectations are more reasonable I expect this August to be much more enjoyable.

17-20 months. Flood. Okay, that’s not really a child development stage, but there’s no other way to think of those four months. They were marked by stress, extreme business (at least the first couple months), and worry. But there were also some really cool things – living right in the middle of town, Ben’s first time going to school/daycare, seeing the house being remodeled and getting to choose exactly how we wanted many things. We also got to know extremely well our housemates – this wonderful couple in their fifties from our church. I think it would be a monumental act of generosity to share your house for four months, but I believe these folks saw this as simply following the biblical imperative to help other believers in times of need. They made us feel comfortable, doted on Ben endlessly – even taking him for a weekend while we left town, and offered free medical advice. (She’s a pediatric nurse practitioner.) We’re still close friends, in fact, closer than before. They’re leaving Houston soon to live in Colorado, and we’re going to miss them.

21-24 months. Talking and testing and interests. The testing part has not been that great, although even that has its rewards. But the talking has more than made up for it. In fact, this has definitely been the most fun I’ve had with Benjamin. I’ve mentioned before on this blog how rewarding it’s been to see the blossoming of our relatioship, especially with speech, and it just keeps getting better. “A loo daddy.” Can you figure out what that is? Probably the most wonderful things that could come out of a son’s mouth. He continues to learn new words and is now putting together simple sentences. I know my opinion on this will probably change, but one of the things I find hilarious now is this kid’s ability to negotiate. We try to give him choices about many things, and one of the most common is something like, “Do you want to leave the park now or in two minutes?” Of course, he almost always chooses two minutes but at least then he feels like he has a say in the matter. However, when we don’t offer a choice, he will still try to get the two minutes. “Ben, it’s time for your bath.” “Two minutes!” “Sorry son, time for your bath now.” “Two minutes!” Hilarious. He has interests in things now. The first distinct one I remember was trucks. He loved his books about diggers and dumpers, and when some friends gave us their outgrown toy trucks he went nuts. Then it was animals – elephants, rhinos, giraffes, hippos, zebras, etc. One of his true loves is busses. Particularly the yellow school bus. “Wello Bus!” He’ll eagerly point out every single bus we see on the roads, even ones an adult eye would never see. For example, waiting at a stoplight by a freeway overpass. I never see what’s going by on the freeway above, but now I know for sure when a bus goes by. Or the occasional concrete mixer.

Parenting brings joys that are amazingly powerful; joys I would not have understood in a tangible way two years ago. Two moments come to mind. The first was maybe six months ago when Ben and I were at the Woodlands Children’s Museum. They have this area somewhat like a sandbox, except instead of sand it’s filled with tires that have been cleaned and chopped into tiny pieces. Ben was in this area working with a dumptruck, repeatedly filling it with a small shovel, pushing the full truck over to this rock, and dumping it out. It may not sound like a big deal, but he was amazingly focused! I had such a wonderful time watching him stay completely focused on this task for a good while. Why does this bring joy to a new father? It’s a little tough to say, but I wonder if it has to do with seeing your son caring about something, being passionate about it, as much as an 18-month old can. I’m not sure if that’s it, but I still love to sit and watch him when he’s enveloped by something he’s working on.

The other moment was actually just yesterday, although there have been a number like this. Katherine’s parents are visiting, and they had set up a little water park for him. We all watched him as he entered the plastic kiddie pool, then climbed some steps, then went down the slide into this other water toy that squirts some water in little jets. He did this repeatedly for a long time, laughing the whole time with this huge smile on his face. I found myself rather overcome just watching him. There’s something very, very special about that unadulterated happiness. No worries about worldly things, relationships, yesterday, or tomorrow. Just enjoying everything that moment had to offer. Maybe dad could learn something from this two year old.