More Pictures

Somehow the order of these posts got out of whack. Here are a few pictures, but there is a text update below as well...

An Update

So now that it's been so long since I've posted a blog, I really don't know where to begin. I was hoping to write something profound about motherhood - but I find that idea a little overwhelming and don't know where to start. So instead, I thought I would ramble for a while, post some pictures, and hopefully that will keep me encouraged to try to write again before another 10 weeks go by.
Benjamin is now 10 weeks old. He's taking the long afternoon nap now, which gives me a couple of hours to do something with relative safety that he'll stay asleep. That being said, he does like to give us a run for our money when we think we've got him on a schedule. I start work again in 2 weeks, so I'm really hoping some sort of routine will stick. The long afternoon nap is a good start - since I'll be mostly working during the afternoon, as most of Mark's daytime rehearsals are in the morning. I'm only planning on working 1/2 days, with not every day in the office - partially depending on Mark's schedule. But our boy still likes to eat every 2 hours, so even with only 4 hours at work, plus an hour for commute back and forth, and add in the fact that the 2 hours is usually from the START of the last feed, to be at work for four hours means that he has to go about 5.5 hours between feedings. I'm planning on pumping at work, but am hoping to just have to do so once. Pumping is a not fun and time consuming. Plus I worry about my milk supply diminishing if I do it too much. Wow, I sound like a mom, don't I?
Speaking of feeling like a mom, I don't know that I've ever been "hit" with that feeling. I do feel love for the wee one now, and I worry about all sorts of things with and for him (he didn't make eye contact with me - is he autistic; am I holding him enough or am I smothering him), but the term "mom" still doesn't feel like it applies to me. Perhaps when he starts calling me that, it will.
I thought I would be getting restless by now, and sometimes I am a little bit when he is fussy and I can't get anything done. But for the most part, I'm not as crazy as I thought I would be, and not looking forward to going back to work as much as I thought either. I'm not dreading it, since I don't have to leave him with strangers, only a strange dad (j/k), but I don't feel a need to get away. I actually do think it will be good for me, though, because when I've had him for a while without a break, I get tired of trying to relate to him. I'll find that some time has gone by since I've talked to him, and I'll remember to do so, and he seems pleased - which makes me feel bad for not doing it more. I've actually gotten a surprising amount of stuff done around the house this summer. We had a huge pile of stuff that I had to stick in our new office since I couldn't find time to deal with it when I was pregnant, and that has all been sorted through. I've finished my pregnancy scrapbook, organized digital photos, and just gotten a bunch of odds and ends done around the house. Now that he can sleep without being held, I am realizing just how much babies do sleep - which gives me a few (if not rather small) chunks of time to get things done. I also think having limited time makes you more productive too.
I'm not sure what else to write - a little brain fried perhaps, so I'll try to update again soon. In the meantime, here are some new pictures of Ben, as well as more home improvement photos (yes, can you believe that we're still getting projects done - well actually, that's mostly Mark's doing)...

Something happened with some of the photos - see entry below for the rest...

Videos Are Up!

Videos are up on the Picasa website! You have many wonderful choices - you can see our boy hold his head up, smile, and hang out with Mark and I. What could be more fun? :)

I still promise to update my blog soon! Seriously, I really will!

We're Still Here!

Is anyone still checking my blog? I hope so! Don't give up on me yet - I do intend to post an update soon! In the meantime, check out Benjamin's two month pictures (he's already two months old!) - they are also on Picasa - just refer to the link in the last post. We have new pictures in the "Second Month" folder, and also in the "Cousins" folder - from a recent visit with Dan's brother & family.

Also, we'll be posting videos on the Picasa website soon, as well, so check back in a few days for those.

Hope you are well -and keep checking in!